Li Hong is 29 years old, charming, drives a Polo and frequents local bars and
cafes when she doesn't travel to a new place in another part of the world.
Happily unmarried, living in an apartment bought by herself while working as
a fashion designer, she is what people call a "Beijing yuppie."
There are so many successful, career-minded women in Beijing such as Li, who
are savouring single life and waiting longer than ever for Mr Right.
They are the first significant group of women in China to stay single beyond
their early 20s - the number of women in their late 20s who have not married has
risen by more than 10 per cent between 1990 and 2000 - and their opinions and
lifestyles define a kind of Beijing yuppie devoted to leisure and luxury.
Depending on whom you ask, they retain their singleness because they are too
busy to date, or have not met a man of their liking, or just cannot afford to be
a housewife.
"Time flies. I am almost 30 and before I know it I'll have turned into an old
spinster. The reason for my being single is simple: I have not met a man who is
suited," said the designer.
"Some say a girl should be practical and hurry up and get married when she
reaches the age of 25. I cannot agree. I think having a lust for life and
choosing your own fate is better than being gradually swallowed by
indifference."
Professor Yang Yabin from the China Academy of Social Sciences said: "Women
of today view their singleness much differently from their mothers.
"For example, in their mother's time, a woman was looked at with disapproval
by her peers if she remained unmarried at a ripe age. However, today, they think
it is just a choice of different lifestyles."
Yang says one reason women are delaying marriage is that they have become
"choosier."
In the past two decades, as women became more independent in the economy and
played an increasingly important role in s ociety, women became choosier but
remained more pragmatic than romantic in picking a mate, according to Yang.
They still defined a good catch as a man with the "three highs:" higher
education, high income and height.
"Now young women who can support themselves have added even tougher criteria
for Mr Right," Yang said. "They are seeking someone financially comfortable,
emotionally communicative and co-operative in housework and childcare."
Li wants to get married and have children, but the would-be husband should be
"the one"
"I place high hopes on him. I will not make concessions. As I am getting on,
I know it will become more difficult to find a life partner. Despite that, I
would rather go without than have someone unsuitable."
They can have the lifestyle because, unlike their mothers, they can support
themselves, Yang said.
The widely held image of life after marriage, among both women and men, is
that the wife will look after the child and the home and be supported by her
husband.
For so many women, it seems like an either/or situation -- work and do things
for themselves, or get married and take care of a house and children.
Meng Yang, 35, a college teacher, was married once in her late 20s. The
marriage lasted one year and Meng chose to be single again.
"As a career woman, wife and mother, a married woman can only be very tired,"
Meng said. "She does housework and disciplines children while sacrificing her
own interests and hobbies."
Sociologist Yang says another reason women are delaying marriage is that life
at home is too comfortable. "They do not cook or do housework or laundry. To get
married means to say goodbye to personal freedom."
Meng described her feeling of being single again as "being free from worry."
"I live on my own and do not need to hurry home after work to cook," she
said. "I do not want to remarry, but I will not reject love. Women need love. So
I may choose just to live with a man, if we can get on well with each other. If
we don't, it is easier to part."
But most single women do not frown on married life. Rather, they are content
with the status quo and feel the possibilities open to them now will be closed
later on.
27-year-old Liu Ming wants to get married and have children. But the ideal
age to get married is 30, she said.
"There is no lack of men who try to court me. But I am not in a hurry.
Anyway, at present I am happy. I have my own apartment, a very good job and a
circle of friends. As a single woman, time and again I enjoy the solicitous
hospitality of men," Liu said.
"It's not necessary to be in a hurry about marriage. If I have my first child
by the time I am 35, that's early enough."
Copyright 2002 by chinadaily.com.cn. all rights reserved.